Another short as fuck movie review: 'The Artist'

So after watching 'A Monster In Paris', I decided that I would go and watch 'The Artist', and my sister decided that she would like to tag along.

As you all should know, 'The Artist' is a silent movie set in black and white and everything, it's made to look old, and it does, the productions and set crew did an amazing job in making it look old and better yet, making the audience believe that it is old. It is set in France in the late 1920's early 1930's and is about, well, an artist. I can't go too deep into the storyline, because if I do, I will ruin it, and it is not a movie you would want ruined by me.

It's a masterpiece and has such good actors in it, even though you can;t hear their voices, their faces make up for it.

The lead character George Valentin played by Jean Dujardin has the most amazing smile I have ever seen on anyone. His smile just lights up your heart and makes you feel so happy, honestly. Go and watch the movie simply for his smile, it is the best thing in the world.

The movie stars a lot of old time actors too, which I thought was awesome. It stars Beth Grant, but she doesn't really have a big role, but seeing her in a movie as a nice person rather than a bitch like in 'Donnie Darko', was a nice change to her type-cast.

It stars John Goodman, the big guy from 'The Borrowers', he also plays mean people and does so in this movie also.

James Cromwell, the dude from 'Babe', the farmer dude? Yeah, him.

Missi Pyle, but she isn't an old time actress, she was in the 2005 reprise of 'Charlie and the Chocolate Factory', and I think she plays the role in this movie as Constance, very well.

It also stars Ed Lauter who starred in 'Leaving Las Vegas', a very good movie.

Malcolm McDowell, as a butler, just an awesome cast of old stars, which kind of shadows the movie is an awesome way.

I noticed that a lot of the older people in this movie, play the roles of servants or maids to the younger main characters, when in their time they were the big shot actors that everyone wanted int their films, which I think places some irony about the movie into your mind.

You kind of have to watch it to see what I mean, but the contrast between the real life actors and the characters in the movie makes you think about the film industry and how it has changed in the last century.

Michel Hazanavicius has made his way up the list of my favourite directors. This movie has made it's way into my favourite movie list also. It's just an all round brilliant movie.

And with that, I leave you with the trailer for the movie, watch the full movie in the cinema and tell me what you think!

Short as fuck movie review: 'A Monster In Paris'

So, I went to London this weekend to see my parents and my thousands of sisters and brothers, and I decided to take the little ones out to the movies to go and watch 'A Monster In Paris', because I am a sweet child :D

I took my foster brother and sister and my niece and nephew and I paid for it all with my hard earned money, like they even deserved it *Sigh* Whatever.

Anyway, I'm just going to talk really quickly about the movie.

The movie itself, isn't that good of a movie, but the singing and the music, is absolutely amazing.

It literally makes you want to sing along, and as soon as I got home, I researched the soundtrack and found out that one of my favourite songs from the movie is sung by Vanessa Paradis, Johnny Depp's partner thingy!

It has such catchy songs, and if you're into animated films, you should go and watch it, but I would only go and see it again, just to listen to the music.

This is the song from the movie that I love:

The benefit of being on your period.

Ok, this may be the grossest thing you might ever read, like ever. Especially if you're a dude.

Ok, if you're a girl, you may think that being on your period is possibly the worst thing ever. With the stomach cramps, and the cravings for gross food that you would never eat if it wasn't for you period, your period actually has some benefactors, well one.

Besides the fact that it shows the change from a girl to a woman and gives you the chance to conceive, your period actually has some awesome benefits, ONE awesome benefit.

You see a guy in a club that has been eyeing you up all night, and you're fucking wasted, like, wasted to the point where you don't even remember your name or how you even got to club, in the first place. The guy isn't cute, but the fact that your wasted over-shadows your judgement of beauty and ugliness, so you go with this guy, to do the dirty deed of all; sex. The ultimate one night stand.

You're at his flat/house/his mother's house/friend's house/a shed, and you begin to come around and see this guy for the monstrosity that he is; one ugly mother fucker, and you think "I can't not go through with it, I'm already here", then it hits you; you're on your period.

"I can't have sex with you, I'm on my period." Now any decent guy would be like "EW, GROSS!", but the other ones that are desperate are willing to look past the fact that you have blood gushing from your vagina full of dead eggs and potential baby holders, will try to convince you that it's ok, and that he can deal with a bloody dick, but are you ok with this? Do you want blood dripping from your vagina all over the bed (not like you care) and running down the crack of your ass? No. Didn't think so.

For the ones that think it is gross, you have gotten away with your dignity still in tact and no regrets of fucking this gross guy, YIPEE, but for the ones that think it's ok to place their pork-swords into a bleeding vagina, you may need to go in for more desperate approaches.

"I have AIDS"

"I have the clap"

"I don't have a vagina"

Those are all excuses that you can use to get away from the hideousness of a mountain-sized penis in your blood-filled vagina.

Then you have the girls that are not on their period at all, but are using it as an excuse to not have sex with the guy because, well, he is fucking gross. The "I'm on my period" line, is the best line to use in this case and I think, is the best line in the world, like ever, in the world. It will never lose it's meaning, but it will never let you lose your pride and your dignity. Your period has your back.

That my friends, is the best thing about being on your period.

So guys, let this be a message to you, if you're not in a relationship with a girl or you manage to pull another and she says she is on her period, she either isn't into you and is lying, is actually on her period and thinks the idea of sex bleeding is sick, or is seeing how hard you would work to get her out of her knickers even though, she told you that she has a river of blood flowing from her snatch.

You have been warned.

Don't be left with a bloody dick.

Enjoy these photos.